Joke of the Day!

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Why parents drink....

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked. ' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked,

'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman. '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer..

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME ..

If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the holiday!!

A man goes to the zoo but when he arrives there are no exotic animals only a dog.






It was a Shih-Tzu

last one for now, not exactly a joke but funny anyway:


1.. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2 . "Experts Exchange" is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3.. Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island" at www.penisland.net

4.. Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder" at www.therapistfinder.com

5.. There's the "Italian Power Generator Company" at www.powergenitalia.com

6.. And don't forget the "Mole Station Native Nursery" in New South Wales , http://www.molestationnursery.com

7.. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always http://www.ipanywhere.com

8.. The "First Cumming Methodist Church " Web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9.. And the designers at "Speed of Art" await you at their wacky Web site, http://www.speedofart.com

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to her supervisor to file a sexual harassment complaint. She tells the supervisor what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.

The supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice"?

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the dwarf."

It was so cold last week, the local flasher had to go around describing himself to people!!!

How can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?
The bed smells of peanuts and the sheets are wrinkled.

What do you call a donkey with three legs? - A wonkey!!

dd liked that one, saving it to tell her uncle at the w/end

Oh good! I'm pleased it's going to come in handy.

Hope you have a lovely time visiting and seeing the new arrival

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks!!

Why should you watch out when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle!!

ES is cringing

A man is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp. He picks it up and rubs it and out pops a genie. As is customary the genie grants three wishes. The guy says he'd like a million pounds and POOF a million pounds appears in front of him. He then says he would like a mercedes and again, POOF! a mercedes appears in front of him. Finally he says that he wants to be irresistible to women and POOF! he turns into a box of chocolates!!!!

funny, but true.....

I like that one he he he

5 Interesting Facts

1 -- japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

2 -- mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

3 -- chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

4 -- Italians and French drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

5 -- Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION

eat and drink what you like !!! Speaking English is apparently what kills you

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband "I must confess darling, I was a hooker!".

He says "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it".

She replies "Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan!".

Ha ha!! very good!

Paddy says to Mick, "can you help me with this jigsaw, its meant to be a Tiger",
Mick says " Put the frosties back in the box you idiot"

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What do you give a poorly ant?

Ant ibiotics

What do you give a poorly bird?

Parots eatomol

Groan....