Joke of the Day!

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:33 pm

Hee hee

What kind of fires do turtles fear the most???

House fires lol!

And just out of interest..... how do rodents save each other from drowning?

...with mouse to mouse lol!

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Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Sat Apr 26, 2008 6:19 pm

OK... brace yourselves lol!

What do you get when you cross a psychiatrist and a plumber?

I don't know, but it sounds like emotionally draining work lol!

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Joined : 16 Mar 2008 Posts : 200

Oh Dear!!! Very Happy

A leopard kept trying to escape from the zoo.....but it was no good, he was always spotted!!

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Sun Apr 27, 2008 7:35 pm

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What do you call a dead tractor collector???

An ex-tractor fan !!! lol!

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:12 am

Like it

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xxx Crafty Cat xxx

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:40 pm

Why parents drink....

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked. ' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked,

'Is anybody else there?' ' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman. '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer..

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME ..
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xxx Crafty Cat xxx

Joined : 16 Mar 2008 Posts : 200

If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the holiday!!

Joined : 18 Mar 2008 Posts : 5

A man goes to the zoo but when he arrives there are no exotic animals only a dog.

It was a Shih-Tzu

Joined : 18 Mar 2008 Posts : 5

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "it's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, and not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Joined : 18 Mar 2008 Posts : 5

last one for now, not exactly a joke but funny anyway:

1.. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2 . "Experts Exchange" is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3.. Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island" at www.penisland.net

4.. Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder" at www.therapistfinder.com

5.. There's the "Italian Power Generator Company" at www.powergenitalia.com

6.. And don't forget the "Mole Station Native Nursery" in New South Wales , http://www.molestationnursery.com

7.. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always http://www.ipanywhere.com

8.. The "First Cumming Methodist Church " Web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9.. And the designers at "Speed of Art" await you at their wacky Web site, http://www.speedofart.com

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Wed May 07, 2008 10:00 am

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to her supervisor to file a sexual harassment complaint. She tells the supervisor what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.

The supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice"?

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the dwarf." Embarassed

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xxx Crafty Cat xxx

Joined : 16 Mar 2008 Posts : 200

It was so cold last week, the local flasher had to go around describing himself to people!!!

Subject: Re: Joke of the Day! Fri May 09, 2008 10:40 am

How can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?
The bed smells of peanuts and the sheets are wrinkled.

lol!

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Joined : 16 Mar 2008 Posts : 200

What do you call a donkey with three legs? - A wonkey!! lol!